Recipe for embracing fear:

1 large plot of land known as canada
1 small vehicle
2 strangers
Bake for 1 week or 45 hours straight @ end of June temperatures

Results may vary from expectations and worries.

To be continued…



step one:

pack the vehicle until full and drive 950km to

Sault Ste. Marie, ON

step two:

realize you just drove 10 hours and have to do it all again to get to

Thunder Bay, ON

step three:

notice the ease of being with said stranger and enjoy the moment over and over again until you reach

Winnipeg, MB  (feel free to skip this one)

step four:

drive straight through Saskatchewan because why not and end up in

Medicine Hat, AB

step five:

This step is essential as it leads to kind people in

Grand Forks, BC

step six ( be sure not to miss this one)

enjoy a day of leisure and fine company with some exquisite views to add to the collection that has already entered your memory from previous days in

Curlew, WA  

courtesy of

step seven:


Vancouver, BC

unload not-so-stranger-anymore stranger and head to the next adventure and let this one settle in.
 *its always the same moon

A Series of Prompts


What is the relationship like between your body and your mind? If they were two roommates, what would their interactions and conversations be like?

It would be gratifying to write that the relationship between my body and mind was connected, healthy and whole at every point in my life. However gratifying this may be, it wouldn’t be true.

In my mid 20’s exercising became my coping mechanism of choice. Hiking, biking, swimming, yoga, etc, etc, sounds like a wonderful way to spend some time. It was, until I stepped back and realized I was so busy increasing my heart rate that I never stopped to feel my heart rate.

Then came the insight that with all this movement I was probably running away from my thoughts, feelings and people, thus creating more of a disconnection the more I ran.

If my body and mind were roommates they would be in need of a new living situation at that time.

After some time shaming myself for running away from myself I had yet another beautiful moment of awareness showing me that the moments of harsh judgements on myself were probably worse for me than the moments of running away from myself. Now came the adventure of healing and letting go of the tight grip I had on parts of myself that did not meet my needs for self acceptance.

Spending many months (and continuing to do so) rearranging the thoughts (would thoughts be furniture in this analogy?!?) in the flat that is me has led to my mind learning to listen to my body and my body learning to listen to the rearranged and nurturing thoughts in my mind. They have been having some lovely conversations these days and I am looking forward to running with these roommates more.


What do you feel you have gained in 2015? Has this added to your life, or does it feel more like excess baggage you’d maybe like to shed next year?

Trusting my own mind has been a work in progress over the last few years and 2015 was full of stimulating events that showed me how important it is to trust oneself. I feel I have gained a better understanding of myself and a more unquestioning relationship with my mind.

Letting go of old thought patterns and allowing new, grounded and honest thoughts to settle into my mind has been the opposite of excess baggage, it has been liberating and enlightening. Maybe there is something to this mindfulness and neuroplasticity after all.



Psychological Escapism for the Experienced Daydreamer


Perhaps it is not what one is searching for that one could contemplate over for greater joy and self-knowledge, but what one is avoiding. Accepting the fact that unpleasant feelings (those things I tend to avoid) are hardwired into being human helped develop my capacity to be with the undesirable moments in life and not wander off subconsciously into fantasy land, a place I have been to many times. Reminding myself within such moments that emotions and thoughts, like moments, are transient, and quite beautiful each in their own way, has also eased the inquietude of certain points in time.

Within a joyful moment it requires very little effort to notice and observe the pleasing effects this state has on myself. Within a moment filled with fear and/or sadness it can be a bit more difficult to see the beauty of such emotions, but its there. The power these emotions have on my entire being fascinates me almost every time I am experiencing one of them. From the change in thought patterns, to the intense physical sensations, to the transformation of my perspective on people, places and things, remaining present to observe and experience these once overbearing feelings has become an engaging and amiable reality. I want to say a lesson in the self within each moment but that’s a tad banal for this posting. A genuine connection to ones life sounds better.

All of these sensations and neurological systems (and so much more) within one delicate human, its too amazing not to be awestricken. What kind of world would we live in if all people had, or chose to develop, the capacity to be with fear, sadness and anger?

I will remind myself of this post the next time I have trouble sensing the beauty in a painful moment.




What is the next thought that will appear in your mind?

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” – Lao Tzu
This quote once resonated well with me. I had accepted the idea that my anxieties were brought up by things that have yet to happen and my sadness would stem from nostalgia and a love for moments long gone. As I sit here starting my first post on my second blog I am flooded with feelings of anxiety and chaotic thoughts. This quote isn’t resonating very well with me today. I notice that in this very moment I am filled with layers of fears about having my thoughts recorded on this blog. Thoughts reminding myself that I am choosing to invoke fear within myself by using writing, a new medium, as an extension of my artistic practice. Questioning my fears to distract me from actually putting words down on this page. Reflecting on the idea that maybe these fears are about what happens after I press publish or perhaps that thinking about that is just my minds way of distracting me from feeling the uncomfortable nature of being afraid in this very moment.
Step one: Don’t just think about it, actually start a blog. check.